Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Escape from the Hotel California

Hi, stitching friends!

I hope 2020 begins better than 2019 ended. I had surgery Friday to have a rod put in my femur, and the surgeon broke my femur during surgery. If you’re anything like me, you’d rather not have details of why or how this happened, so I will spare you.

After three nights in the hospital, the physical therapist said I was not ready to go home. But the surgeon thought I should go home, so we compromised. Insurance said they’d pay for physical therapy rehab, so they loaded me into a van and hauled me to a place we now affectionately refer to as “The Hotel California.”

Back at the hospital, I had been told I would be in this place for a day or two, and my expectation was that I would learn skills like how to get up the step into my house, how to shower and dress myself, how to move easier with the walker. The Hotel California had other plans for me, though.

Remember these lyrics?

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
'Relax' said the night man,
'We are programmed to receive.
You can check out any time you like,
But you can never leave!'

When the intake nurse finished asking me if I still had my own teeth, who the president is, what year it is, and so on, they told me about the in-house hair salon and the weekly activities I could participate in. I said, “I’m just here for a day or two to learn some basic skills. I’m not staying long.” 

She chuckled. “You’ll be here at least a week or two, maybe longer.”

By the time she left the room, that inner voice we all have was screaming, “RUN!!!”

I looked at Shawn, said, “I do NOT want to be here. This is NOT what I signed up for.” So he went and found somebody and told them we were leaving. It was after 9:00 p.m. We hauled my disabled hiney into the car and drove straight home. It was a comedy of errors trying to figure out how to get up the step into the house with my walker, but we managed.

My bladder is my personal trainer. The need to “go” is a strong motivator. In the hospital, the distance between the bed and bathroom was very short. At home, the distance between the living room and my bathroom is a marathon in comparison. Walking with a walker while putting less than 25% of my weight on one leg is a workout! I’m feeling stronger every day, and my husband has been absolutely amazing. My mom has been burning up the miles traveling to be with me, and she has cooked for us, cleaned up and shared her knowledge of post-surgical physical therapy with me. (She has had both hips and knees replaced, so she is a pro.) My son has been a great gofer for us since he has his driver’s license now. And I have been so blessed with lots of emails, calls, texts and visits from dear family and friends.

My Favorite Christmas Gifts

With my current mobility status, I am not able to get photos right now to show you, but I have to brag on my friends Carol and RJ. They sent me the most beautiful, perfect stitched ornaments. I showed my son, and his reaction was, “Holy sh**, Mom. Wow.” For a 17-year-old, that’s pretty high praise. I’ll show you as soon as I am able.

And my favorite gift I gave was to my sweet husband. He loves hoodies and he loved this one. I asked him to make a “grumpy old man” face for the photo. Love it!

Until next time, friends, I hope 2020 brings you lots of love, plenty of reasons to smile and laugh, and peace and good health. And, as always, lots of time to stitch!