Pinktober

A couple of years ago I had dinner with my friend Alicia and her daughter, Steff. It was October. Steff, a senior in high school, was just finishing her final year of school, but just barely. She had missed months of school while she underwent surgery, chemo and radiation for a brain tumor.

There was a sign on our table that said "October: Breast Cancer Awareness Month! FREE appetizer if you donate to breast cancer awareness!"

Awkward.

We talked about how it's hard for someone struggling with NOT breast cancer to wade through the sea of pink in October. Steff said she felt invisible, that her cancer was somehow less important.

I know some of you can relate.

Let me just say this now. You do matter. You are not invisible.

And I am annoyed by Pinktober.

As a "former" breast cancer survivor, now that I have metastatic disease (cancer that has spread beyond the breast to other tissues), I'm not sure what to call myself now. I'm not technically a survivor (unless they figure out a cure...), but I'm not dead, either. I'm very much alive, doing the best I can on the drugs that are available to me, hoping beyond hope that they come up with new treatments that will keep me alive long enough for someone to find a cure.

Those of us with metastatic disease refer to October as "Pinktober." For us, breast cancer is not something we've "beaten." Some of us have been asked to leave breast-cancer support groups because we scare the other people there (seriously - I'm not making this up). And the statistics about breast cancer are woefully misleading. Only those who were diagnosed initially with stage IV (metastatic) breast cancer are counted as metastatic. (So the number of "successfully treated" patients is artificially inflated.)

What does this mean? I was first diagnosed in 2005 with early-stage breast cancer and I completed treatment, so therefore I am counted as "successfully treated." My breast cancer came back years later (I was diagnosed with metastatic disease in 2013). Only when I die from this disease (and I will, since metastatic breast cancer has a 0% survival rate), will I be counted among the metastatic statistics.

And why is this important? From the Metastatic Breast Cancer Network (MBCN) website:

"According to the Metastatic Breast Cancer Alliance’s Landscape Analysis, which analyzed research grants from the major cancer research-funding agencies around the world, research funding for metastatic breast cancer accounts for only 7% of the total breast cancer research investment. Without an ACCURATE count of the number people currently living with Stage IV breast cancer, that number is unlikely to change."

Each Pinktober, my thoughts turn to the friends I've met because of this disease, and lost to this disease - Carey, Trina, Dani. And I think of friends who are battling cancer - not just breast cancer - Steff, George, Jenny and Scott, Jo, Judy, Sheila and Sheila, Walt. You are NOT invisible. You matter.

People have said to me over the years that they admire my strength and positivity. If I am strong, it's because I had no other choice. If I am positive, it's because for me, that was my only option. Being negative isn't going to help! But choosing to hope... that's something.

If you would like to stitch my "I am strong" sentiment (I made mine into a magnet), you can get the pattern here. You don't have to stitch the ribbon in pink. I've included a small chart with some ribbon colors for other types of cancer.

Framed! (Better Late Than Never)

When I began cross stitching in the early 1990s, I often stitched big projects. When I finished something, I would trek to a big-box craft store framing department and shell out $100 to $200 to have it framed. That was before I owned a home and had a kid. These days, I look for more economical ways to finish my projects (first, by stitching smaller things), or I let them sit...*sigh*... unfinished in a box in my closet.

I'm trying to get over my perfectionism and intimidation when it comes to finishing things myself. I'm lousy at sewing, and even worse at framing, but I'm working on it. Thankfully, there are lots of blogs out there with great tips.

Today I finally framed my December cottage by Country Cottage Needleworks. Only a few days late! I think I am obsessed with little houses. I just love them! I followed a tutorial I found here for the framing, using straight pins to "stretch" the linen on foam core. It was really easy! The only thing I'm still unsure of is how to tape down the extra fabric in the back. Does anyone out there have a super-sticky, archival tape they like? Or another way to do this? Most framing blogs just say "tape down the loose cloth edges," but so far I haven't found any tape that sticks very well. I've been using archival linen tape with mixed results.

The December cottage is stitched on 32-count lambswool linen using Weeks Dye Works and DMC threads. I've been reusing the same simple black frame each month.

November's cottage is also stitched on 32-count lambswool linen. The yellow overdyed thread in this one, "Harvest Moon" by Weeks Dye Works, is just yummy. It worked perfectly to give the leaves that golden tone they have in fall.

October is stitched on 32-count linen, but I don't remember what color or brand - it was something I had in my stash. The big flowers next to "October" look like fried eggs, don't they?

Have a great week, everyone. I am trying to stay sane during these last few weeks before Christmas, although I admit to spewing a few F bombs while driving. My gift shopping is DONE (!!!) but there are always those last-minute things to take care of... buying stamps, a trip to the post office, groceries, stocking stuffers... and it seems that everyone behind the wheel is in a hurry and distracted. Take a deep breath and do something you love. I'll be stitching!